Learn to Relax

Tip# 20

Do you stay awake at night feeling tired, worried, anxious, but unable to fall asleep?  Do you lie in bed thinking about everything you have to do the next day?  This is your body’s way of saying you haven’t turned off the motor.  Your mind is still racing even though your body is wiped out.  You need to learn how to relax.

Now I know what you’re saying.  “Learn how to relax? There’s nothing to it, right?”

Well the truth is, achieving a state of relaxation can be more difficult than it seems.  The reason is that relaxation is a physical skill.  It takes practice during the easy situations before you can move it to more complicated areas of your life.

So how do you do it? Let’s take a look at a few methods.

Consider taking up Yoga.

Now I know what you’re probably thinking.  “Yoga? Isn’t that were you contort your body into all these strange positions?  I’ll never be able to do that.”

Well, don’t discount it yet.  There are many good books and videos on yoga with the beginner in mind.  Check it out.  You might like what you see.

There’s also meditation, and we talked about that in a previous tip, “Give Yourself a Break” (Tip #15).  So without belaboring that point, here’s what you want to remember:

• Sit in a comfortable place with your back straight.

• Say a calming word or phrase over and over, or picture a calming image in your mind.
• Breathe slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
• Don’t let distracting thoughts bother you.
• Come out of it slowly, gradually becoming aware of your surroundings.

Engage in cardio related exercise.  I can already hear you grumbling.  Nobody likes to exercise, right?  And if they do, there must be something wrong with them.  Well, exercise doesn’t have to be drudgery, but it needs to be a very important part of everyone’s lifestyle. 

According to LadiesHomeJournal.com, exercise helps

·        Control weight

·        Lower blood pressure

·        Lower cholesterol

·        Strengthen muscles and bones

·        Reduce anxiety

·        Improve general wellbeing

Notice those last two?  Exercise causes your body to release endorphins, brain chemicals that cause a feeling of euphoria.  So exercise is important for your physical and mental wellbeing.

And you don’t have to join a gym to exercise either.  Consider walking or biking as inexpensive, yet effective alternatives.  Personally I like walking myself, since it’s something both the corporate professional and entrepreneur can do at lunch. 

What happens if it rains?  Then find a good indoor place to go.  There’s sure to be an indoor shopping mall close by that would do just fine.

And by the way, some of those malls even have a “mall walker’s club”, where a group of people meet daily to walk around the mall before it opens.  Look into joining up, and you’ll have both someone to talk to and a comfortable, dry place to do your walking.  (And for you entrepreneurs, think of all the networking opportunities.)

Bicycling is another great way to exercise since it’s fun, gives you a great workout and is easier on the joints than jogging.  Biking just a few times a week can provide you with some great benefits.

When to relax.

So when do you do all this relaxing?  In order to get to the point where you can do this on a regular basis, you need to determine which part of the day is best for you to relax (personally I do it at the end of the day before I get ready to go to sleep, but you might want to try immediately after you get home from work to help you transition into “down time”), then perform the following exercise:

• Start with a fixation on your breathing.  A slow in and out pace which you’ll find un-tightens your stomach and provides the foundation for your relaxed state.
• Begin tightening groups of muscles (starting with your hand) for a few seconds, then letting go.
• Make a fist with your hands and slowly count down from 3,2,1.  Give yourself as much time as you need prior to moving onto the next group.
• The order of the muscle tightening doesn’t really matter.  (“You can go onto your shoulders, then from the bottom of your body to the top.”)
• Tune back into your breath, imagining yourself in a relaxing setting (e.g., sitting lazily by the pool, dangling your feet in the water).  Some people have issues with troubling thoughts coming to mind while they’re doing this (stuff going on at work, or whatever).  When this happens, just gently push those thoughts to the side, and continue to focus on your relaxing scenario we just talked about.
• Ease your way out of the exercise at the end so you don’t undo all of the good benefits.
• Try this twice a week to start, with each session lasting 5-20 minutes.

Advanced stage relaxing.

Now that you’re a relaxation pro, try projecting yourself into a stressful situation (talking to your boss, dealing with angry clients) and then practice the relaxation techniques.  Do this a few times in the comfort of your own home, so that when the situation really does arrive, you’ll be much better prepared to handle it.

The benefits of relaxing are definitely cumulative, and you’ll get the most out of your sessions when you’re able to work your way up to 4 or 5 times a week.

Remember, learning how to relax is a physical skill.  That’s why most people have a hard time doing it.  They think it’s all mental, but it’s not.  By focusing on relaxing the body, you relax the mind as well.  Try these techniques, and you’ll be less stressed and more focused on the issues that fill your day.

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